Monday, January 30, 2012

hi there's sorry if this seems like a sermon. ha

This week was great! My comp is definately staying now and is doing much better. We are working much better together as a companionship which is nice. I think that's a pattern that happens often.. you start really understanding your companion and becoming more unified in the way you teach and then... BOOM Transfers! Haha not this Friday but next are tranfers.. I'm worried because since my comp is a Nauvoo sister she only has one more transfer.. so Im assuming she might stay in this area again.. but if I stay that means I'll be in this area 7 1/2 months because I'll have to stay if she goes back to Nauvoo. weird.
    I spoke in Church yesterday. It was a really interesting experience. I felt like I knew exactly what I was supposed to say. I had my Mummi send me my Grandaddy's book of life stories last week, because I just really felt like I needed to re-read them. I ended up reading one of his entries to the congregation. For my family reading you'll remember this story..   In 1989 my Grandaddy was in the bishopric.. he felt very inadequate for the job. He being conservative, forward and somewhat aggressive in his opinions, felt that there was no way he could be fit for this calling.. he feared that he would offend people and therefore someone who was better set up for the calling should replace him. He awoke one night thinking of these inadequacies.. and when he drifted off to sleep had a dream. In the dream he saw a baker holding a tray of cakes.. the cakes were all broken up and looked lowsy.. but the baker was beaming with happiness as if they were perfectly fine.. the people that recieved these cakes beamed with joy.. and saw no problem with them.. you see they tasted just fine.  When he awoke from the dream he felt the Spirit tell him that though he thought he was inadequate for the job, he wasn't.. He may not appear to be the perfect man for the job, but he was. He then states that the Sunday after he was sitting during Sacrament and felt the words.. "I will be with you.. I will be by your side.. I will be behind you". The Lord was looking out for him.
    After I read the story I talked about how I felt inadequate to be a missionary. I just didn't fit the typical missionary mold.. and that the Lord always shapes our backs for the trials ahead of us.. He always uplifts us and shows us the way. No matter how inadequate we feel.. if we are doing our best.. whatever calling we get.. we can accomplish.
   Then I shared something more personal. It was about the phone call I received from the Mission President. .  He called to tell me that my Father was in the ICU and was not likely to make it.. he asked if I would like him to make flight arrangements right then.. I told him I needed to talk to a few people and then determine what I would do, and I'd call him back when I decided.
      I honestly felt in those few moments that my Dad would die.. I thought about my dad.. and his side of the family. They are not members of the church and I thought.. I really should be there for them.. if he passes. I want them to feel the comfort that I know.. which comes from understanding the plan of Salvation.. and where we go when we die. My first thoughts were that I would fly home.. just for the tranfer and then return to my mission or not.
   Then I called on my best friend. Heavenly Father. I told him how much I love my mission.. I expressed my sorrow for my own inadequacies..and all the fears I had. I told him that I was willing to do whatever He asked of me.. and that I knew He would show me the way.. but to help me to recognize what the right choice would be.
  Then I called a good friend of mine. I vented my frustrations over the matter.. what I felt I should do.. and waited for His opinion. He reminded me of how much my misson has blessed me.. and my family.. and told me that if it were him.. he would stay.. because I could help my family more by being here on my mission.
   Then in my talk I turned to Luke 9.. and read 
23 ¶And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his across daily, and bfollow me.
 24 aFor whosoever will save his life shall blose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

 59 And he said unto another, aFollow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
 60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.
 
 62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the aplough, and blooking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
      I know that the Lord is aware of us. Just because I am on a mission does not mean that I won't face trials, decisions, or heartache.. but I know that the Lord will uplift and help us accomplish all that He asks us to do.. and that we can be happy doing it. The Lord is not insesnitive to my needs.. and that's not what these scriptures state to me. They mean that I must go and do what the Lord has asked of me. He asked me to come to Montana. He asked me to preach repentace. . He asked me to trust Him. . and I will.. wherever He leads me.

  Last night we met with Jared and Cameo again. it was one of the most spiritual lessons of my mission. They opened up to us about some leaders that had offended them in the church and how they didn't know if they would trust any leaders again. I got real personal with them. I told them about an experience I had had as a teenager.. with a Bishop who I felt did not understand my situation at all.. who was insensitive to the reality what was really happening.. who ignored the needs of a child.. that Bishop later became the Stake President. To this day I do not feel that he was right in the things he did. In my teenage years I was very bitter and angry with this man.. I didn't want to see him at church.. and I didn't want to be at church. I felt betrayed by everyone around me,.. and couldn't trust anyone.
   It took years of healing, praying, reading the scriptures to get over it. . to fully seperate that person from the gospel. People make mistakes. they are not the church. . Over time I honestly have come to love and feel concern for those who have offended me.. God has opened up my  heart in corners I felt would never again be uncovered.. He has opened my mind with understanding.. and filled my soul with joy. I am no longer offended with those who have hurt me. I encouraged them to start this process and to not let others determine thier spiritual growth.
I then felt impressed to turn to Mathew 5 where jesus teaches his sermon on the mount..
aAnd seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:
 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
 aBlessed are the bpoor in spirit: for theirs is the ckingdom of heaven.
 Blessed are they that amourn: for they shall be bcomforted.
 Blessed are the ameek: for they shall inherit the bearth.
 Blessed are they which do ahunger and thirst after brighteousness: for they shall be filled.
 Blessed are the amerciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
 Blessed are the apure in bheart: for they shall csee God.
 Blessed are the apeacemakers: for they shall be called the bchildren of God.
 10 Blessed are they which are apersecuted for brighteousness’ sake: for ctheirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 11 Blessed are ye, when men shall arevile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of bevil against you falsely, cfor my sake.
 12 aRejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your breward in heaven: for so cpersecuted they the prophets which were before you.
 13 ¶Ye are the asalt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
 14 Ye are the alight of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
 15 Neither do men light a acandle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
 16 Let your alight so shine before men, that they may see your good bworks, and cglorify your Father which is in heaven.

 And then something amazing happened.. jared starts to tear up.. He says sisters I am going to re-read 14-16.. listen closely.. because they are for you. As he re-read the words.. me and my companion were both tearing up. Then  he says "Sister davidson, you were sent here for us.. you can understand people in a way I've never seen a missionary do, you are not the typical missionary. Whenever me and Cameo get back to church and are ready for the temple can you come to our sealing"?
     I will NEVER be able to thank God enough for the love that I have felt from the people in Montana. To hear such gratitude for me as a missionary was unreal. I feel unworthy to receive such a compliment. My past is redeemed.. my future makes sense. . I will always be a disciple of Jesus Christ.



Monday, January 23, 2012

life is an adventure

Right? I mean for reals though. This week I ...
  • get a call that my dad is probably going to die so i need to prepare myself. So that was enjoyable. not. 
  • oh and same day, not same time, my Zone leaders..( two elders in Big Fork) house BURNT down.. in a fire. it happened. All their suits, letters, everything.. burnt to a crisp! So sad.
  • HUGGGEE snow storm happened same day.. piles like 10 feet high of snow in the middle of the road as medians.. never seen anything like it. oh p.s it was 4 degrees with windchill for a couple days. The reason why the Elders house started on fire was because they had to warm the house and somehow there was remnants of something in the chimney that caught on fire.
  • my companion had thought for sure she needed to go home to marry her boyfriend.. she even called and told the mission Prez (she left while he was still on his mission, and now he's home and apparently proposing through letters and e-mails) rad. not really. haha it's frustrating when your companion does not want to be on a mission. i guess she feels like her time is up.. she's served her mission. Whatev's I know the Lord will make it work out. i'm not sweating it one bit. If that's what she's supposed to do.. who am i to stop her right? I am just glad I finally figured out why she wasn't happy in Montana.. she just feels like it's her time to have babies.. haaa NOT ME yet. I got some more Montanans to baptize.
        To be honest though.. I have felt soo much peace this week. and joy. I have learned how to listen to the Spirit more than ever. God has comforted me and even made me super happy. Im serious. I'm like the happiest person alive. I laugh ALL the time.. at myself, at weird, entertaining people I meet. but mostly at the small successes I've seen in this area. The Lord has shown me small changes that people I have taught have made.. and that makes it worth it to me. I Love seeing the light come on for people.. I love seeing Jared and Cameo Wright for the first time in 10 years.. come  to church.. and open their scriptures.. I love knocking on thier door and seeing thier smiles and getting hugs from them.. like last night when Jared says.. "Hey Orange county, where've you been, haven't seen you in a couple weeks, I thought you forgot about us". haa
    I loved seeing Jenna Jensen (14 year old investigator) Come to church for the whole three hours yesterday.. wearing a dress.. holding her Book Of Mormon we gave her.. turning to me every few minutes and saying can I use your scripture marker?.. I want to mark what we read last week.. this chapter is so awesome. I was amazed as we sat in young women's (the lesson was about the Holy Ghost) and Jenna raises her hand to answer questions.. she even says.. "I had this expereience where I felt the Holy Ghost telling me I need to get baptized.. and now I'm just trying to make the decision.. cause i feel like it's not just me getting baptized.. but my parents too, I want them to feel this". What the? How can I EVER repay the Lord for the miracles I see all around me? How can I thank him for helping me stick through the rough, dark, days? I don't think I ever can. Last week Jenna said.. "Sister Davidson I've met with missionaries before but this time it's different.. I feel something now.. If I get baptized can you baptize me"? haha  that was priceless. i told her of course I couldn't since I don't have the Priesthood, but it's ok cause I got to teach her the lessons and that's ok.. she still doesn't fully get why I can't personally baptize her.. but that was classic.. haa
       Yesterday at our dinner appointment when it was time to share the message, I ended up using the members I-pad to go to a football "mormon message" She has three boys that are ages 7-11 and all are super sporty.. Since I've already seen it a million times I just held it up so they all sat around me like I was a librarian.. and it hit me while I was staring down at these three little boys.. their mom next to me.. smiling.. (cause for once they paid attention to something spiritual.. ha oh football)  it hit me that these little boys were being raised in the gospel.. that they had a Mom that LOVED them soo much and wanted them to enjoy the world.. but not be part of the filth it has.. that she was their #1 teacher.. to help them grow up in righteousness. it was like a wave of emotion staring down at their cute faces all intent on the message.. I felt such a sense of love.. and a little of whats to come in my future.. hopefully someday as a mother.
    Did I ever tell you guys how much I love the gospel? I sooo needed this mission. God knows what he's doing. Without it I would still be a good person.. but because of it i KNOW I'll be such a better one.. a better mother even.
Nothing can replace this time. it's been hard sometimes.. but the best thing for my life. It's the truth, it really is.. and no matter what comes my way.. because of the gospel I know that even if my Dad does pass away I'll see him again. That's what my mission is about.. sharing the message with everyone.. that Jesus really did come to Earth. He suffered for us, died for us.. but He was also ressurected for us. You and I will see Him again. No doubts.
Loves and Aloha
Sister Rachelle
   
   

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Hey you out there

  Well this week's been a bit rough.. but good nonetheless. Sometimes you just gotta focus on the positive.. It's always different with a new companion.. there's always a learning curve and you really have to be flexible. I talked to my mission president yesterday because we had zone conference and he said companions are like a "mock spouse" if your companion were your "spouse" how would you try and help them, treat them ect.. it's true! Everyone is different and my mission has really taught me to get along with everyone.. and love them as God does.. not just avoid them if you don't like them.. haha but go out of your way to befriend them.. to find things you can both agree on.. believe me it's not always my favorite.. but sometimes it is.. I have learned alot about myself.. and I have tried to express more gratitude OUT LOUD to my companions.. ha I just assume people know I care about them.. I guess I should tell them more! I can always do better.
   I realized I am not used to Winter.. it can be dark and kind of depressing.. luckily I can work out in the morning or it would be lots worse. Don't get me wrong there's no place I'd rather be than my mission, but sometimes it's rough and I day dream of Hawaii.. ha
   I am excited to see what the rest of my mission will bring and the people I'll meet. Sorry I don't have much to say this week. I'm a bit tired.
Loves
Sis Rachelle

Monday, January 2, 2012

I moved!

101 Rosebud lane
Kalispell, Montana 59901
So I moved into a huge house with no one in it! We had nowhere to live so some members that just moved to Utah let us live in thier house until it sells.. which is pretty nice. I like it alot! Oh ya and I am getting a new companion tonight! Weird! Everytime you get used to one companion you get another one who is completely different. You definately learn how to get along with lots of different personalities.. one thing I have found is you have to let people be themselves.. you can't be happy trying to change them to be more like you.. and that's with everything.. excercise, eating habits, teaching, tracting approaches, style.. haha unless they show interest in what you like to do you pretty much just have to compromise.. which can be different, but a fun learning experience.
     I can't beleive over half my mission is over! It's nuts! and kinda bittersweet. I don't know how I am going to adapt to normal life.. I am going to be one of those super weird RM's who can't be normal. haah I just love being a missionary.. I see little miracles ALL the time.. I think it's just  a missionary thing.. you get these instant blessings for being obedient.. and even though it's usually helping other people it's very spiritually gratifying. I am sad to think that one day I won't be this kind of missionary anymore.. and I'll have to get on with life!
   I was in this store getting some vitamins.. it's called complete nutrition.. and this guy that worked there was giving us his speil so I was like.. hmm I can easily turn this back on him.. He was just talking about how these viatimins are so great and he would recomend them to everyone.. and then he saw my tag and realized we were missionaries.. He was like "Hey are you mormons"? and I said "Yep, that's us were missionaries".  He says "So you have to go out a long time huh, so why would you decide to do something like this for so long, like why did you come"?  Ok perfect!! haah so I said " well think of it this way.. you have this protein or vitamin or something that really helps you feel great when you work out and just overall improves your life, would'nt you want to share that with people? That's why I came.. simply because it makes me really happy and I want to share it". He paused for a minute and was like "Ok, I get it no.. oh hey I have been to your temple! In Salt Lake it was soo pretty there"!  So we talked for a bit about it. I am condensing the conversation.. haha anyhow in the end.. I bought some vitamins and gave him a mormon.org card and invited him to church. It was funny. and I loved doing it.. ha im so weird.
   My new years was pretty uneventful.. just sat at th church and talked to people.. but it was nice nontheless.
   My new companion is a Sister from Nauvoo here on her outbound.. I think she knew my cousin katy Davidson who was on her mission there. it should be a new fun experience.
   p.s. I love the gospel. Nothing in this world can offer the peace living the commandments gives. Nothing can compare to serving a full time mission and feeling the spirit work in you to bless other people. It's the best thing ever.
Loves
Sister Rachelle