Sister Rachelle

Well I have been like super sick all week. I don't really know whats wrong with me. One night I woke up and felt like my chest was about to jump out of my body.. I was in a cold sweat and I could barely breathe! It was so weird.. then I have had fuzzy eyesight and dizziness for like 4 days now.. blaaaa
   Nonetheless this week had some good moments. Sometimes I look at myself and I'm like.. "Who the heck are you"? I forget that people used to call me Rachelle.. I used to wear normal attire and feel relatively like a normal individual. Lots of things have changed.
1. I now wear like 50 layers of clothing.. and ALWAYS skirts
2. I don't do my nails, hair, or makeup like i used to.. oh and NEVER wear heels
3. I go by Sister
4. I talk to everyone I see about Jesus Christ and the Church He set up while He was on the Earth
5. I have to eat huge meals.. full on meals every day.. lots of food
6. I understand sooo much more about the gospel and scriptures and just how organized the church is
7. I realize just how real the Atonement of Christ is.. and just how much I need it. EVERY DAY
  
    It's a great thing.. but sometimes people are like.. oh you only have 6 1/2 more months to go! What are you going to do when you get home? And I am thinking... huh? I'm a real human? One day i will go Home?? What is home? WhO AM I? haha stressful! I'm going to be sooo weird when I get home.. literally preaching the first lesson to everyone I see.. I'll be identity-less! I think I'll stay here forever.. unless i die of whatever sickness i have.

     So remember how I told you about Brother Keathley who really made me angry because he just randomly decides to be anti and leave the church??  Well this has bothered me alot because although.. he has done some pretty dumb things.. i know inside he is a good guy and obviously I didn't want him leaving the church.. You can leave the church but it never leaves you. There's always reminders in the world that the church is true and will bring you the most happiness.. no matter how hard you try and shove it... it comes back. Once you find the truth.. you'll fight your whole life trying to deny it.

    Anyways  I have felt like I should visit him ever since he left.. But the bishop and another man in our ward had already went to his house to try and knock some sense into him.. but they ended up leaving because  he had such a spirit of contention they couldn't get through to him. He was pretty much saying Jospeh Smith is a liar.. Book of Mormons not true.. bla bla bla
   Brother Keathley and i had an interesting relationship. He is a convert and has had ALOT of family issues in his life.. not to mention just about every other problem that could be possible to have. I just felt like I understood what he was underlying saying all the time. I think he felt like no one in the ward understands him because his background was SOO different. . i can relate to that in being a missionary. All my companions have pretty much lived in Utah their whole lives with cookie cutter families that always read their scriptures and did fhe.. they never questioned much because they were "safe" in the way they were raised. (im not saying thats a bad thing, I am merely pointing out that there are many people out there that just can't see what it's like to not have a nearly perfect upbringing)
    Anyhow Saturday night I was pretty sick.. it was 8pm and we were not getting in with anyone.. then the Spirit again is telling me "GO SEE BROTHER KEATHLEY".  So I tell my companion.. who knows nothing about him.. how I feel but that im too scared to go cause he'll probably just freak out at me and kick us out of his house.. then she says "What, you afraid? Your sister Davidson.. you can do anything"! haha I felt like I was Rocky being pumped to go into the ring.. so I agreed.
      We knock on the the door and Brother Keathley answers.. "Look who it is".., he smiles at me and says it's good to meet you new Sister.. Berry? to my comp.. ha he lets us in and sits down.. His wife is on the couch preparing for her sunday school lesson. He looks different.. his face now has a scragly looking beard and such. So he starts joking around, picking on me.. the usual.. after being there for about 20 minutes just chatting.. I was like ok so can I share something spiritual with you guys? He's like with who my wife? haha 
   So I pick out some scriptures and start reading them.. He was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE but he was listening.. but the whole time in my head im thinking  "Sister Davidson.. you tell him what you came here to say".. and I'm fighting within myself.. what I want to say is WALTER YOUR AN IDIOT! GET YOUR BUTT BACK TO CHURCH! haha
   After the spiritual thought it was a bit quiet when something took over me and then I said..
   "Brother Keathley I came here to tell you something".  He looks at me intently and I say
    "The church needs you"!  
     silence
   I continue ( and I'm bawling)
  "I know you have felt the Spirit.. I know that you have had the Priesthood and  given beautiful blessings, by the power of God. I know that you know the Chruch is true. I know your in a different place right now.. but I pray that you come back. The church needs you."

   Dead Silence.. his wife is crying.. me and my companion are crying and I'm pretty sure he was. It was crazy! Then he says
   "Thank You".

I hug his wife and she says "Did you feel the spirit? Thank you SO much".
 I did feel the spirit.
We leave and Sister Berry is like.. Whoa that was like a Spiritual Smackdown!
haaha I was so grateful. I am so grateful. I know the Lord was the one speaking to Brother Keathley.. I feel so blessed so have been a vessel for him. Sometimes in moments like these i just feel so unworthy to feel such love. But I felt the way that God feels about Brother Keathley. I felt the Love that He has.. and it was amazing.

love ya'll
Sis Davidson