A mission is like a long run.. you start out thinking wowza this is going to take forever.. I'm tired.. How am I ever going to complete this.. then you get your first wind.. your just strolling along, feeling great.. for a while your like "yeah, I got this"! Then as the next mile approaches your like.. dang, my legs ache.. why can't this be over (all the while saying.. I can't stop now I've come too far!) Finally your in that final stretch.. your sprinting to the finish.. your almost floating as you come closer to home.
That's how I feel right now. The realization that I have 2 tranfers left seriously sinks my heart.. but I am sprinting to the finish. I'm giving it my best.. and it's going by tooo fast. I never want to come home. I just want to be the Lord's sevant forever. I know that maybe whoever is reading this thinks.. wow she's being dramatic.. she's got three whole months.. haha maybe you just don't understand. I spent the bulk of my life not understanding God. I believed in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.. I went to church frequently.. but I did not believe that God loved me.. I did not believe that I could have a good life. I thought I was on my own. Literally. God's "eternal blessings" were for other people, the "chosen people". I heard the generic.. "read scriptures, pray, go to church.. then you'll be happy". . but I didn't believe it. In my life it was fend for myself, protect myself, work my butt off.. and then maybe.. just maybe you'll find a tiny happiness at the end. You see I didn't have any Faith in God.
My mission has brought an immense sense of peace and understanding to my life. I've found myself on my knees begging God to help me understand, and He has shown me soo many wonderful things. I believe God had my mission in His plan for me from the beggining. . my trials have really helped me to understand the people of Montana. My struggles have helped me love more.. reach deeper within myself.. asking God for the charity I need to forget myself.. and help these people. I don't know if there is anyone that I have helped more on this mission then myself. I've converted myself, to the gospel that was always available to me.. But God knew I needed my mission to do it.
There's so much that goes into the work that the members do not see. They expect that missionaries.. don't take a break to eat lunch.. shouldn't be playing soccer on P-day.. many many other things. It's been one of the rougher things I've dealt with out here. Sometimes you just have to please people. For any that know me.. you may know that I am NOT a people pleasure. I am not humble enough. haah seriously. So it's something I'm working on. When you come to a new area.. the previous missionaries may have been breaking rules.. the members do not really know the misison rules.. so they find these things to be "set in stone schedules" that all missionaries should do. It's hard to break the cycle but I came out here to do the Lord's work.. aha I'm reminded of Moroni 7
45 And acharity suffereth long, and is bkind, and cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Sometimes it takes a while for the members to get used to the way you do things. But in the end.. if you have charity for the people.. everything works out and understanding prevails. . because Charity is the pure Love of Christ.
I saw a miracle this Sunday. Sam and Tiffany came to church. Tiffany hasn't been to the church in YEARS. I sat next to her in relief society and we chatted and laughed about stuff that was going on. It must be rougghh coming back to church when EVERYONE in the ward knows your excommunicated. She is awesome though. Just love her.
I am nowhere near perfect. . but because of this gospel.. I know how to be better.. how to be happy.. how to make good things happen in my life.. by letting God take the reins.
Love ya'll
Sister Davidson
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