When you dream, dream big

I've been thinking alot lately. Actually I think allll the time.. literally all the time. I'm really good at giving advice to others.. much better at teaching them the basic principles of the gospel. I can teach someone about Faith.. and how they should have faith in God and trust him.. believe that He is and that He WILL fulfill his promises.. For myself though.. not so much. Why is t that I can know that these blessings God has are for the people I teach, yet struggle believing it for myself? hah It's a hard task. It's not that I don't think God loves or cares for me.. it's that I just haven't had the strongest Faith in believing all the promises He gave to me.. will actually happen.. if I do my best. I sell myself short.. all the time.. for all you out there that sell yourself short... STOP It. thanks.
A mission teaches you.. if you let it.. how to "hold fast" to God.  How to change. How to become better than you were before. I realize that I truely have changed.. I now have a log of all the things I struggle with (don't worry, not massive sins, just things I want to change) There are 5 main things that I can do better.. Every day I check off whether or not that particular problem happened that day. . I literally log my progress. It's a huge eye opener.. I believe doing this has helped me be more prepared each Sunday to take the sacrament.. It helps me feel less guilt.. It helps me repent fast.. It's pretty cool. haha I recommend it.

I needed a blessing this week. I hadn't slept at all for days.. it was just a hard week. Well I'm prideful and basically refuse to get a blessing until I'm about to break.. (maybe I should put this on my log) anyhow.. I gave in and called and asked the stake President.. who just lives down the road from us.. He sat down with me and we chatted for a bit. Let me just tell you this man is Rad. yep. I said it. He is so full of the Spirit it radiates off him. We talked about my life, my mission, and what I'll do after. He opened my eyes to so many things. When he gave me a blessing it was seriously like a conduit to heaven opened up.. not even joking. It strengthened my testimony in the power of the Preisthood. it truely is restored to the Earth.. the same exact Preisthood when Christ was here. I felt it. I talked to this man for 15 minutes.. and some of the things the blessing said were direct quotes from my patriarchal blessing.. It was amazing.. there is no way it wasn't a strait message of God. Seriously a miracle..
   Which brings me to Miracles.. Miracles to not produce conversions. Take Nephi in 1NE17.. He's telling his brothers.. hey.. Moses lead the children of Israel out of bondage.. they were fed manna day,to day (except Sunday cause saturday they had to gather two days worth.. they complained about that) Basically they witnessed many miracles.. I mean Moses parted the Red freaking Sea!!! And the Children of Israel complained! They thought it might have been better if they remained slaves.. then Laman and Lemuel.. they saw an angel.. they heard God's voice from time to time.. but did it convert them? Nope. Fact is that if you are diligent in keeping the commandments and trying your best.. you will witness little miracles all the time.. but if you just saw miracles.. it would mean nothing.

   This week we started teaching a new family... the mom is a member, the dad is excommunicated and seriously poisons his kids minds with anti materials.. it's so sad. He gets them every other week.. The kids mom wants us to come and teach them, so she can have some reinforment for the gospel in the home. I love these kids. They are struggling like crazy.. but they remind me of me when I was young. It's a priveledge to see God working in my life, since I was young.. to meet other people struggling,. Anyway as we were teaching the kids.. about "Faith" haha One of the kids said "Sister Davidson, you smile ALOT, why are you always smiling".. ahah I said "We'll its' because I'm super happy, do you want me to frown"? haha there's a lot of good things coming around in this area.. Really

I love the Lord. there have been so many times where I have felt like Alma..
I love these scriptures.. I am going to place a few additions in here that make it personal to me.

 17 And it came to pass that as I was thus ^aracked with torment, while I was ^bharrowed up by the ^cmemory of my many sins.. (afflictions, pain, broken heart) behold, I ^dremembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

 18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, ^ahave mercy on me, who am ^bin the ^cgall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting ^dchains of ^edeath.

 19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my ^apains ^bno more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins( afflictions, tempations, losses) no more.

 20 And oh, what ^ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

Some advice for myself.. and everyone else. when you dream of your future dream big. Dream as if God would grant you your every righteous desire.. because HE WILL!!!

  Love you..

Sister Davidson